Losing Hope

My heart hurts so darn bad. I don't understand. If you hate me, fine. Why is Chris to blame too? What did he ever do to you for you to treat him like how you treat me. I'm angry, I'm sad, I feel like it's the gazillionth time I want to just go up to you and grab you by the shoulders to shake you. My heart hurts because I lost my best friend and made my other best friend lose his best friend too.

He was 13, I was 11 and so were you. 3 naive kids who knew nothing about how things would end up in the future. We knew nothing about love, but we at least knew something about friendship.We grew up together, almost like a family. But why stop forgiving each other now? Why stop putting in the effort to make our friendship last? What snapped you? Just what the hell happen to you?

What you are doing, it's not called moving on. It's called giving up. And I don't want to, but I think I am starting to give up on you too.

"The weird feeling of waking up feeling like you've lost a friend and not being able to mourn because that person is still around."
-Aunty Rachel Tan, 2014-

I am losing hope God, give me some, please.