Destroyed

That's it? Our friendship, did it shipwreck? Was our friendship of so many years so fragile? That a tiny crack could gradually grow so big in between us through time. When I did notice that there was a crack, I pretend it wasn't there. Because I was afraid, I was afraid of the problems in your heart. And when I finally had the courage to face it and tried to mend that crack, it was too late, and it never worked. And the dishearten me ignore that fact once again. In the end, the crack just grew and grew, until the point it can no longer be fixed. That was the moment I gave up, and told myself not to be bothered by you, that I should probably give you some time.

Until one day I snapped. I couldn't take it any more. All those hostile glares you give me, the way you frown at my every word and shake your head in a disgusted manner. I had to ask you "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?" Yet in my anger, I felt a deep sadness. Where are the moments we use to have as best friends? Don't you dare tell me they were all a lie. My whole body froze completely after reading your reply. I was just staring at my laptop screen, while my mind started racing, and I was rendered speechless. Just because of some silly mistake I did two years ago? Yet I cannot blame you for being angry at me. Because after all, I made that decision, so I have to be responsible. I knew something wasn't right since last year; you were becoming very emotional and very like someone else. Someone that gave me chills to the bones. Why'd you let such thoughts linger in you? Why didn't you tell me? Why, just why? These words echoed in my mind for a very long time. Even as I continued my daily life, it kept ringing in my mind.

And I came to this conclusion, it is all my fault. I admit it, I avoided you, I ignored you, I distanced myself from you. Because I was so afraid of the person you were becoming. And the selfish me did absolutely nothing to help you, all I ever did was push you away. It is very like your character to keep your anger within you. I remembered asking you, but you never told me it had such an impact on you. Perhaps you never knew, and neither did I.

I guess I can't call it a shipwreck after all. Because a shipwreck is an accident. For this case, I sunk our friendship; destroyed by my own hands.