My Heart is Out at Sea

A story from Peter’s perspective based on Matthew 14: 22-31:

I still remember that day as clear as yesterday. The day that I realized, my heart is out at sea:

‘What a day.’ I thought to myself. ‘Did I really see it happen? That Rabbi fed all five thousand people.’ I was still in doubt that my mind might have been playing tricks on me. ‘Rabbi must be very tired. He just hurled us unto the boat without a word and sent us and the crowd away.’ Then, I heard my name.

“Peter! Peter! There’s a storm coming!”

‘A storm? Impossible! How could I, the seasoned fisherman not foresee it?’ True enough, we all got threw into a horrible storm just moments after that thought of mine. Twelve men in a boat being tossed and turn upside down and right side up again.

“Get the buckets! Start scooping the water out of the boat before the boat sinks!”
I shouted on the top of my lungs to whoever that could hear me. The storm just seemed to get worst. I’ve never seen anything like it all my years as a fisherman.

“We’re all going to die!”

I couldn't remember why I was so frighten until I would exclaim such things, but these were the exact words that put us all into doubt, fear, and dismay. Soon, we were all paralysed with it. Not only did this storm drench us to our bones but it has also dampened the spirit within us.

I saw something approaching from the corner of my eye, it was so white, and it was walking on water, what else could it be but a… a… “It is a ghost!” Someone shouted before my brain could tell me so.

“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” The person called out to us.

‘That voice, oh that familiar voice! How soothing it is to hear that voice’, but the storm got the better of me; ‘the ghost could be pretending to be him’. Those negative thoughts hung all over my mind. With all the courage I could muster, I replied,

“Lord, since it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

“Come!” He replied.

So I fixed my gaze on him and I did, I stepped out onto the water, never looking away from him. I did it, I was walking on water! ‘It really is Rabbi! I’m walking on water!’ A wave came out of nowhere, threatening to wash me away and before I knew it, I was lost my gaze on Rabbi and I was sinking.

“Lord, save me!” And immediately Rabbi pulled me out of the water.

“You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

That storm, it was crazy, it was intense, it was frightening, and it was intimidating. But I’d do it all over again. If that was what made me see God, I’ll go through it over and over again just to be able to have a glance of God. If being in the oceans and seas where my feet and my physical body may fail me will lead me to see the face of God, I’ll do it over and over and over again. I can surely say, my heart is out at sea.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior."

-Hillsongs, Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)-

Read the explanation here.