Fretting The Future

Oh no!!! A year just passed like in a jiffy!!! Next year I'll be facing exams again!!

This year I felt as if studying didn't exist and exams barely mattered.... That's because I didn't take it seriously... But guess what, when I started to take studies more serious, I found out that I've missed out on much, too much.

I'm now quite afraid of every step I take, fretting what will happen next, but regretting I didn't sometimes.

Betrayal

Shattered pieces of trust,
That would have never began to rust,
was broken down by betrayal,
Lies all over the floor because humans weren't loyal,

Each crack brought me suffering,
Each sharp tip leaves me grieving.

Someone innocent and guiltless,
might trample upon your brokenness,
And in the end the both of us,
will get hurt by it because I was careless.

But you needn't do it alone,
Jesus will help you through His throne,
So glue it  back with forgiveness,
For He did on Calvary taught me unending mercies.

Please.. Stop... Just Stop!!!

I hate arguing, I terribly hate it!! My family(involving the 2 generations above me which lives in Seremban, excluding those living else where), is always arguing over the construction in their shop. Every time they go somewhere to eat or maybe even at the shop or house, they will either complain, argue or talk like super loud as if the contractor is right in front of them. Me being the "what-do-you-know" teenager plugs my ears into my iPod and immerse myself into music but the sound still gets in... Yup~ that's how loud they're talking... And yes, my iPod is on full blast...

I try so hard not to get involve in their worthless arguing but they can go on about it for hours. So, what do I do? Shut myself up by either sleeping, studying or reading... None of those worked though, well, maybe the sleeping worked, for awhile. I gave up acting like their not there and ended up making myself not there... Which means I go out and stay out and away from the screaming and shouting. Filling my day with events like going tuition, going out with friends, attending a Saturday youth fellowship in an unfamiliar church (my favourite part)...

Staying away is sooo much easier because I have fun in these events and the time pass super fast compare to ignoring arguments. I notice I rather go school and be lifeless than staying at home listening to negative and worthless and annoying arguings...

As i type this my grandparents are arguing over the toilet and the kitchen... Great... That's just great... I wish it would stop... Seriously~ Is this what life is all about? Only arguing? Is that what you people call life? PLEASE~ STOP!!!

Forgiveness, I'm Trying...

You gave me hope, you told me I could when I already knew I couldn't. I believed you, but it was you who gave me hope, who shattered  my hope with your words. The shattered pieces pierced deep wounds in my heart. I pulled them out, but the wounds are barely healing cause I'm trying to forgive but I haven't fully forgiven you.