Some Years Ago

You know how you have like a group on Facebook and you create another just for the people who manage the group? Well, apparently that was what happened for my youth group. We had a group for the Youth Fellowship and also a group for the Youth Fellowship Committees. (We now have a page too but let's not get into that yet)That group was created in January 2012 and the last post was October of the same year. It could be called a dead group, because 6 out of 9 people in that group is no longer in the committee. And we, the committee don't even discuss through that group any more. But the information of 2012 still remains there.

Facebook, you are one sick bank of information.

I accidentally opened that dead group instead of the one I wanted to open today.Because they had the same name besides that it has the word "Committee" at the far far end. So since I was already here and the page has already loaded, thought I'd scroll through, because why not? It's Facebook after all. And as I began to reread every single post and comment and likes and every detail there is to offer, I realized what when wrong. Well, at least where I went wrong. And to be frank, it was a lot of things. 

1. Empty Commitment

It wasn't that I wasn't committed, I just didn't really understand what it meant to be committed at that time. No one clearly explained to me what it was and how to react to it. I was like every other youth, just being committed "only-when-I-have-time". The committee would always have one or two or half missing because of the classic "I-can't-make-it" or "I'm-busy". Yet what I know now about commitment is to either change the time to suit everybody or make yourself free. It took me 3 years to learn that.

2. Empty Enthusiasm

I am a person just pumped with enthusiasm most of the time. And about 2 or 3 years ago my enthusiasm level was infinity. But this was problem? A little enthusiasm can't hurt right? But a lot might. Especially when I am so enthusiastic about something unrealistic. And when someone comes in to do a reality check, it's kind of a bumper. It gives people the impression that it can be done and the person coming in to stop us as the bad guy. But really, they are just more practical to think whether such things are possible before going all "I-fully-support-you".

3. Empty Promises

I hate these, and hate to admit that I, too am guilty of committing what I hate. Many empty promises, many knots left untied, and a burden to the others to clean up the mess. (And I really don't feel like writing about this because I still do make some even now)

4. Empty Efforts
There is a difference between serving God and serving man. Serving man can also mean serving yourself, because you want all the glory and fame and recognition. Serving God is giving him all that glory and fame and recognition. And most of my efforts those few years ago was either to please someone or to satisfy my own thirst for attention.

I continue reading through and finally reached the end of the group posts. So many mistakes, so many information that I don't want to be reminded of. There were many more flaws but the main ones were just these. Can't really believe that it has been so many years of learning and growth, of trying and failing and trying again. And I would totally wish I could go back in time and tell myself what I know now.But this is all wishful thinking and the past will always be the past. Its existence serves a purpose, to remind us of what we have learn throughout the years.

And Anna, you are one awesome person for not deleting that group. *pokes*