God's Ministry

You know that feeling when you are leaving to somewhere and might not come back, there's a worrisome feeling. Not the "what's-going-to-happen-when-I-am-there" feeling. It's the "what's-going-to-happen-here-after-I-leave" feeling, yeap! That's the one. Well, going to America, I always knew it had to happen sooner or later. But what makes me worried most of the time isn't the fear of going there,it's the fear of what I have to leave behind: the youth ministry. Like after I leave who is going to take over? Can Chris handle? After he gets older who's going to take over? Are they...? Will they...? Can they...?

Frankly, I was acting like my grandma, worrying over the same thing over and over again. But actually it ain't a big deal. It took me awhile to realize this. God showed me, or wait... I think it felt more like a slap. And here's how:

So, on August 3, 2014, we had our yearly Youth Sunday. This was the 4th Youth Sunday we had. It is when the youth ministry will take over the whole service, from worship, to chairperson, to ushers, to hospitality, to EVERY SINGLE DETAIL that I never knew existed until Youth Sunday became a thing. Which is good because the youths are the next generation and we should learn these things.

What God did on that day, He showed me how much potential you all had, and I just realized that I underestimated all of you, that I thought highly of myself in a way that I thought the ministry will collapse without me. But God chastised me and told me "Do not think highly of yourself, for this ministry is not your's, but it is God's ministry and it will carry on" If I realized this before Youth Sunday, I don't think I'd understand but after Youth Sunday, I saw how each of the youths filled up the gap that was empty and I realized that even if I leave, that gap will soon be filled up.

So I actually don't have to worry any more. Because the ministry which my blood and sweat was thrown into is in good hands: God's hands.

Meet my slaves! :D and my fake twin 

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Mustn't forget the overgrown youth who (loves petai very much and)
 always always will give the best advice!

And the blind president who's in charge of liking what he sees, but can he see? O.o

Awesome new bassist dude

This boy ah, too tall for me to say anything dy

Ooh! Brown pants.. :D

The Ng's presence is very obvious... This whole family is half of our group!

I shall never attempt to ask how old you are any more,
because I always think you are still the little girl from Sunday School
And then you remind how old you are and I feel old

The quiet siblings are quite talkative "chair-kids"

Look who dropped by to say hi, happiness overload... :)

Of course not forgetting the awesome pawsome Yeeeeee's

You guys rock! Say "Youth Sunday"

I'm leaving, kthxbai....

Losing Hope

My heart hurts so darn bad. I don't understand. If you hate me, fine. Why is Chris to blame too? What did he ever do to you for you to treat him like how you treat me. I'm angry, I'm sad, I feel like it's the gazillionth time I want to just go up to you and grab you by the shoulders to shake you. My heart hurts because I lost my best friend and made my other best friend lose his best friend too.

He was 13, I was 11 and so were you. 3 naive kids who knew nothing about how things would end up in the future. We knew nothing about love, but we at least knew something about friendship.We grew up together, almost like a family. But why stop forgiving each other now? Why stop putting in the effort to make our friendship last? What snapped you? Just what the hell happen to you?

What you are doing, it's not called moving on. It's called giving up. And I don't want to, but I think I am starting to give up on you too.

"The weird feeling of waking up feeling like you've lost a friend and not being able to mourn because that person is still around."
-Aunty Rachel Tan, 2014-

I am losing hope God, give me some, please.